We used to have a dictionary named ‘Old Faithful’. It was a simple, very old dictionary. It had paper and ink, the pages were tattered and torn, and it did what all good dictionaries do. It sat there, lying around the house, waiting for one of those rare moments, the inevitable ‘that’s-not-what-that-means’ argument. Unfortunately for Old Faithful, my wife held a grudge. I think, once upon a time, at the height of a disagreement, out came the fateful words, ‘let’s look it up.’ But the definition was nowhere to be found. It had failed her.
It’s rare that I’m right about a word. So, I was excited. What I didn’t know was that forever more, that particular dictionary would be labeled, ‘not real.’ It was doomed – which according to the dictionary means, ‘inevitable destruction.’ (Ominous music) Dunh dunh duunnn….
But everything was better on Christmas day – I was given a shiny new dictionary. I think it was my wife’s way of saying sorry for destroying Old Faithful. Of course, this new one is fantastic! It has thin pages, itty-bitty print, and a bazillion words. It’s a fifth edition – very authentic. And then I realized, with this new dictionary around, my days of winning obscure ‘look-it-up’ games was over. Old Faithful was gone, but my wife had apologized. I had a new dictionary and life was good.